in the moderate Aristotelian city

Reading someone's long thinky-thoughts article about "the stigma of mental health" and the realities behind it, and I wonder to myself: why don't I write long thinky-thoughts articles about the issues that are important to me?

Partial answer: because I don't feel I have any opinions that are really "mine" (they all seem "borrowed" or absorbed from what other people think).

Partial rebuttal: aren't a lot of people's opinions based on reading or hearing what others think and developing their own opinions, either in agreement or contradiction?

Partial rebuttal to the rebuttal: Yes, but I feel like I could do better on a) doing my own research and fact-finding b) figuring out what I really think in response to other people's opinions c) not rushing to agree with everyone because fail-brain thinks I have to appease everyone or they will hate/attack me*.

What I guess I need: To figure out how to do a) and b), with an eye on mental health because seeking out facts about the upsetting things is likely to, duh, upset me, and with the corollary that b) is somewhat dependent on c) and c) is hard to fix in isolation.

What I might also need: Reassurance that I am not alone in having these kinds of struggles, stories about having, negotiating and learning about opinions, pictures of wombats or cats, hugs.

What I definitely don't need: Advice or opinions on How To Form Opinions (there is a whole extra thing of issues here about when people actually tell me what to do/think, I get grumpy).


*NB: I know this last is logic-free, it's a relic of my childhood which needs kicking in the arse if I could only figure out how.

This post carries a trigger warning for suicidal thoughts.

So all the stuff I've been doing over the weekend, about general organisation and getting shit done and dealing with the massive to-do list, was really useful. And at the same it didn't tackle one of the current major causes of stress in my life.

That's jobhunting.

( Rambling on the topic of jobs. Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal thoughts )

And it is rather cutesy. But I kind of like it.

This is now my final post of the night.

There will be actual fannish content here soon, shortly.